you were a bright light in my dark time
i want to share the light with you, too

//
i'm laying here, kind of losing my mind. missing him so much. feeling shut out, kicked aside, left behind, thrown away...

it comes in waves like this.

little girl lost

work in progress. just my silly sketching, but i kinda love her... so much that i don't want to do much around her to ruin her. and i still draw cats like i did when i was 5. might edit him out.

7.5.2009

try to love me- with all my flaws
have some faith in me
just a little push
and you'll see my soul shine
i'm stuck behind layers of scars
with a little attention i'd be good as new
and i'd make it worthwhile
because i can love like no other
and i never forget kindness shared
there's much more if you pull back my layers
so much i want to show and give the world
like a child i just need a hand to hold
get me started
i'll show you real love

transcends 7.7.09

you held me warm on the cold hard floor
moved your hands over my body, healing me from the outside in
your big arms around me, your hand tracing my own
you told me how much you care
you probably don't remember, but for me it meant the world
I need you in my life,
it will take time,
but my attachment to you transcends our lust

3.15.09

a fire i haven't seen in so long
the excitement slowly building
wrapped up with you i found comfort i didn't think i'd feel again
i'm surrounded by your little treasures
i always have a piece of you with me, to hold while i sleep
every time i challenge your heart you come back at me to prove my fear wrong
you've shown me that you're not here to use me or kick me around, like everyone before
even when i doubt you and throw your kindness back in your face
you catch me without knowing, as i knock myself down again
i've tried to stay cautious and keep my heart safe
and i never lose sight of all you have at stake

i know that when everything else fades away you care,
i feel it in your arms, your hands tracing my legs
in the words from your mouth and your eyes
you've changed me
my heart pieced back together

you're unsure and want to follow god's plan
and i'll never push you
just don't deny what we have

nothing left february 2009

i'm so close to this edge, close to no turning back
everyone wants to steal a piece of me, everyone wants a fight
so tired of being used, i'm just about sucked dry
now he's back for more this time there's nothing left to steal

3.17.09

can't sweep you from my thoughts
can't eat, can't sleep, you take up every breath
i don't even know if we're right for each other
i just know how you make me feel
i don't want to give up yet, when we really haven't had a chance
don't write me off
i know i'm in your heart somewhere
i'm hiding a little, but i'm always here
giving you space, trying not to squeeze too tight
why do i find myself here over and over?

soothe myself 7.7.09

i've gotten some sleep but it doesn't hurt any less
2pm got to force myself out of bed
wipe on eye makeup knowing it will only be cried away
need to make a journey to say goodbye in my way
to where you tricked my heart into thinking it's safe
whether you're there or not isn't up to me
but i need to go to find some peace to soothe myself somehow
i wonder now, where were you?

7.7.09

you must not have liked what i had to say
the truth of your cruelty you can't stand to see
looking back through the months i know that i matter
i know that you care
your words archived and alive forever don't lie
i'd almost forgotten how special the beginning was
you rebuilt my heart from tiny shards, now leave it a pile of dust
i know you can remember how we used to be, so crazy for each other
my instinct is to try
my need is to touch you and see you
but when thoughts are hazed and judgment skewed
and your mind is not your own
what's wrong is right and what's right is wrong
and there's nothing i can do

secrets i can't keep

Nothing left to say
And all I've left to do
Is run awayFrom you
And she led me on, down
With secrets I can't keep

Close your eyes and sleep
Don't wait up for me
Hush now don't you speak
To me

Wrapped my hurt in you
And took my shelter in that pain
The opiate of blame
Is your broken heart, your heart

So now I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray my tears
To anyone caught in our ruse of fools

One last kiss for me...yeah
One last kiss good night

Didn't want to lose you once again
Didn't want to be your friend
Fulfilled a promise made of tin
And crawled back to you

I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray myself
To anyone, lost, anyone but you

So let the sadness come again
On that you can depend on me, yeah
Until the bitter, bitter end of the world, yeah
When god sleeps in bliss

And I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
And I'll betray myself
To anyone

soma
wpc